


The Hey Arnold! Adventure Fantasy Epic

by NaNoWriTJMo



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: Gen, ctw36
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 21:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12591224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaNoWriTJMo/pseuds/NaNoWriTJMo
Summary: Gerald tells Timberly a magical bedtime story. (Fanfic is inspired by the artwork of CTW36 of Deviantart) #NaNoWriTJMo





	1. Chapter 1

Hey Arnold! – an Adventure Fantasy Epic

Note: This story is inspired by the artwork of  CTW36 <https://ctw36.deviantart.com/>

“I can’t fall asleep!”

“Huh?” Gerald turned away from his show. His parents went on a weeknight date, and since Jamie O. was at wrestling practice, had tasked Gerald with babysitting his younger sister Timberly. Wally doll in hand, she looked at her big brother with big plaintive eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?” grumbled Gerald.

“I know, but mommy and daddy usually tuck me in at night and I miss them.”

Gerald sighed and muted his episode of “Pop Daddy” then stood up from the couch. “Come on,” he said, leading her back to her pink-themed bedroom.

As she nestled back into bed, Timberly looked hopefully at Gerald. “Read me a story?”

Gerald looked at her dubiously. “A story?”

“Mommy always reads me a story. It helps me fall asleep.”

Gerald glanced at Timberly’s bookshelf and frowned. “Yeah, but you must have read these like a million times.”

“Ooh ooh! That one is my favorite!” she pointed to a rather fat, felt-covered book practically jutting out of the bookshelf.

Gerald pulled it out and scoffed. “Fluffy Bunny Saves the Day? Uh, yeah – no. We’re not reading that.”

“Then tell me a pretend story. Pleeeease?”

“All right, all right. Settle in, kid,” Gerald sat down on the bed and Timberly got herself nice and cozy. “So where should I start?”

“How about ‘once upon a time in a land far, far away?’”

“Sure…once upon a time in a land far far away….”

 

Arnold awoke to a bright light in his modest bedroom. A young woman with shoulder-length blonde hair in a white gown stood at the foot of his bed.

“Young harbinger of peace,” said the woman. “Fear not, for I bring great tithings of joy to you. War is fast approaching, and an unstoppable force threatens to level your lands. But you have the key to unlock an era of prosperity and happiness. Trust yourself, for you will do great things.”

The woman kissed Arnold on the head and he promptly fell back asleep.

The next morning, Arnold joined his grandparents at the dining room table.

“What’s up, Shortman,” said his Grandpa, not bothering to look up from his newspaper.

“Howdy, Tex!” greeted his eccentric grandmother. “Why, you look like eight miles of bad prairie!”

Arnold yawned and rubbed his head. “I just had the strangest dream.”

“Uh-huh, you don’t say. About what?” asked Grandpa as he sipped his coffee.

“Well,” Arnold struggled to recall his memory. “I was visited by this woman dressed in white, and she told me I was the ‘harbinger of peace’, or something like that….”

Grandpa immediately spat out his coffee. “Mama Leone! The Lady of Perfection!”

“Huh?” But Arnold didn’t have time to react, because his Grandpa stood up and dragged him into another room. “Grandpa, what is this all about? It was just a dream I had.”

“Not just any dream, Shortman – you’ve been CHOSEN!”

“Chosen?”

Grandpa held Arnold by the shoulders, knelt down and looked him dead in the eyes. “You were visited by the Lady of Perfection! Legend has it that the hero of our land will be chosen by her in a dream and destined to embark on a grand quest to rid us of the evil Warlord that rules over us!”

“Wait a minute – why have I never heard about this Lady of Perfection before?”

“Because, if I told you, then of COURSE you’d have the dream, because you’d be thinking about it. It’s like if I told you not to think about a panda playing the fiddle, what’s the first thing that pops in your head?”

Arnold rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Okay, I see your point. But, Grandpa – I’m only nine!”

“But nothing! The Lady chose you, that means it’s your quest! And besides, boys love grand epic adventures! Now stop lying around, Shortman – it’s time to get packing!”

“Grandpa--!” But Arnold was already yanked into another room by his elderly patriarch.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The tenants of Arnold’s house stood outside to see Arnold off on his grand journey. After receiving the well-wishes of his fellow boarders and Grandma, his Grandpa approached him. Arnold shifted his weight from side to side between his feet, a stick and bindle resting on one of his shoulders.

“Now remember, Shortman,” advised his Grandpa. “As the Chosen One, it’s your job to find the Messiah and join forces, because only together can you defeat the Warlord and end his reign of tyranny.

“Are you sure about this, Grandpa?” asked Arnold. “Do you really think I can do this?”

“Sure, I’m sure!” insisted Grandpa. “The Lady of Perfection chose you, didn’t she? That means you’re a shoe-in for the job of Peacekeeper. I have my utmost faith in you! And I got 50 gold pieces riding on proving that bum Kokoshka wrong.”

“I say this Chosen One nonsense is a load of baloney!” chimed in Kokoshka.

“No one asked you, ya chiselin’ weasel!” shouted Grandpa. He turned his attention back to his grandson. “Now you go out there, and you save our skins!”

“Yeah, we’re counting on ya, kiddo!” said Ernie.

“You will bring pride to this town!” added Mr. Hyunh.

“Kill the umpire!” interjected Grandma.

“Uh…I’m going to assume that means ‘Godspeed’,” said Grandpa.

Arnold smiled. “Thanks, Grandpa. Thanks, all of you. And don’t worry, I won’t let you down.”

And with that Arnold set off, leaving a crowd of waving well-wishers in his wake.

“So then what happened?” Timberly asked eagerly, sitting up from her spot in the bed.

“Well,” Gerald went on. “The Peacekeeper began his grand epic quest to save the land, but he didn’t get to far before running into the best character in the entire story.”

“Who? Who?”

When Arnold arrived in the neighbouring town, he noticed a rather large crowd gathered in the town square. In the centre of the group, a young boy with an instrument was entertaining his captivated audience.

So don’t trust the ally that’s really a False Friend

For his gilded lies will spell an early end

Though short in stagger, his means reach far

So take caution! Remember who your true friends are!

There was a light smattering of applause and the young boy held out his hat, but the most he received were a couple of gold pieces.  When the crowd had dispersed, he emptied his bounty into his hand, then sighed dejectedly.

“Guess it’s bread and water again for dinner…” muttered the boy.

“Hey!” The boy looked up and saw Arnold approaching him. “That was a great poem.”

The boy smiled faintly. “Thanks. Too bad talent doesn’t put food on the table.”

“Aw, don’t sell yourself short.” The boy extended his hand. “My name’s Arnold.”

The boy accepted, and they shook. “Name’ Gerald, the Bard. Though sometimes I think I got into the wrong profession.”

“How do you mean?”

“My family says I should’ve followed in my dad’s footsteps and become a blacksmith like him, but I couldn’t see myself doing that. So, I left to find my own fortune, doing what I love.”

“That’s incredible, wish I could follow my passion.”

“What about you?” inquired Gerald. “Aren’t you a traveler? Sounds like you’re living the dream already?”

Arnold shrugged. “I wish. I’m actually living THROUGH a dream. My grandpa sent me on a quest because I had a dream about the Lady of Perfection.”

“Whoa – hold, on….THE Lady of Perfection?”

“So you’ve heard about her, too, huh?”

“Are you kidding? Everyone knows about her! Seeing her in a dream is like winning the lottery! My dad knew a guy who was visited by the L.O.P. in a dream, and a week later he found a rare diamond he traded for over a million gold coins! You’re so lucky!”

Arnold started walking. “I wouldn’t say that. I saw the Lady, but I’m not getting any gold. My reward is becoming the Peacekeeper, the Hero that rids the lands of the Evil Warlord.”

Gerald followed after Arnold, keeping pace. “There’s nothing wrong with a little celebrity status. Fame and fortune go hand-in-hand.”

“I’m not even sure why this Warlord is evil anyway. I’ve never met the guy.”

“Uh, trust me, and you don’t want to, but –wait!” Gerald stepped ahead into Arnold’s path. “You’re not taking this journey alone, are you?”

“Well, yeah. My next step was to stop at the nearby inn and ask for directions.”

“You can’t do that? You’re looking for the Messiah, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Then you gotta keep that on the down-low! What you need is a navigator that can take you to and from where you need to go. Lucky for you, on top of being a talented bard I also know my way around the countryside. Stick with me, and we’ll be on the road to success in no time!”

“Sounds great!”

“Great! So let’s go to the inn.”

“But, I thought—“

“Not for directions! As your navigator, I could use some R & R, and as the Peacekeeper, it’s only fair that you foot the bill.”

Gerald made his way to the inn before Arnold could protest.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Arnold and Gerald walked down the forest path when they heard the sound of yelling.

“Gerald, do you hear that?” asked Arnold.

Gerald paused for half a step, then shook his head. “Nuh-uh. Let’s keep going.”

Arnold yanked on Gerald’s sleeve. “Gerald!”

“Come on, man! We’re on a quest, remember? And the last thing we should be doing is getting distracted by every cry for help.”

“But Gerald, don’t you see? I’m supposed to be the Hero! I can’t just ignore a person who’s in need. I’ve got to go help them.”

Before Gerald could say another word, Arnold darted ahead. He ran until he spotted a carriage surrounded by a group of thieves. One of the thieves was rounding up a pair of horses attached to the carriage, while another had another had his knife out and was preparing to enter the vehicle.

“Stop!” yelled Arnold, getting the attention of the brigands.

“Lookee here men, we got ourselves a hero!” taunted a third thief.

“That’s right!” said Arnold, taking on a challenging stance. “Now you leave those innocent people alone, or I’ll be forced to do something drastic.”

“Oh yeah?” said the thief holding the horses. ”Like what?”

Not realizing that the men would call his bluff, Arnold reached for the closest item he could find – a stick – and brandished it at the thieves, causing them to burst out in laughter. The thief with the knife left the carriage alone and began to approach the hapless Arnold.

“It’s time we teach you why it’s wise to not be a hero, kid,” said the thief threateningly.

Suddenly, the carriage began to quiver and shake. The thieves watched as several lighted projectiles emerged from within, all with a trajectory for them. The thief with the knife was hit in the head and his hair was alight with blue fire.

“Aah!” he screamed, and he ran off, his crew not far behind him.

“Hey Arnold!” Gerald arrived to see the last of the brigands flee the area. “What happened? What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything. It was—“

The door of the carriage emerged. A young bespectacled girl with black hair in a blue dress stepped out.

Gerald wasted no time walking up to the girl and bowing. “Hello there! Allow myself to introduce…uh, myself. I’m Gerald the Bard. You’re not hurt are you?”

“Hello – I’m Phoebe. And no, I’m quite alright. I suppose we have you to thank for coming to our aid?”

Flustered, Gerald blushed. “Uh, actually that would be my traveling companion over there, Arnold. But I made certain those criminals were truly gone, I can assure you.”

Phoebe walked past Gerald and curtseyed before Arnold. “You saved our lives. We are in your debt.”

“Thanks,” said  Arnold, scratching the back of his head. “But I didn’t really do much….”

“Hmmph – that’s obvious.”

All eyes turned to the carriage again. A second girl exited, this one with long blonde hair in a pink dress, and a rather sour demeanor. When she was fully out she folded her arms and regarded the two boys rather coolly.

“Don’t mind my colleague,” apologized Phoebe. “It’s been a long trying day, punctuated rather poorly with our encounter with the thieves.”

“Uh-huh,” remarked Gerald, still admiring Phoebe.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you waste any time with these chuckleheads. It’s not like they were useful anyway.”

“She’s right,” admitted Arnold. “Before I could do anything, a bunch of fireworks emerged from the carriage and scared the thieves away.”

Gerald snapped out of it. “Oh, so are you two firework salesmen are something?”

Phoebe opened her mouth to speak, but the blonde shoved her and abruptly cut in. “That’s right. We’re firework salesman.”

“Huh,” remarked Gerald. “Kinda not wise for a couple of female entrepreneurs to be traveling alone in these parts.”

“Just what are you implying, bucko?” snapped the blonde. “That just because we’re a bunch of girls we can’t fend for ourselves?”

“Well, if the skirt fits…” quipped the Gerald.

“Oh, that’s it!” The blonde raised her fist and prepared to strike, but Arnold intervened by standing between the two of them.

“Whoa, whoa! Things are getting a bit heated. Let’s just calm down…”

“Oh, who asked you, ya football-headed serf?! Come on Phoebes, we’ve already wasted enough time!” The girl turned and stormed back to her carriage just as she noticed her horses escaping from their harnesses and running away.

“Great. JUST Perfect!” she screamed.

Phoebe turned to the two boys. “I’m sorry – I don’t believe I caught your name.”

“It’s Arnold,” he replied. “Please to me you.”

“Yes, it’s unfortunate it had to be under such extenuating circumstances,” replied Phoebe.

“Extenuating, nothing – this was fate!” interjected Gerald.

Phoebe blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“Do you know who my man is? This is ARNOLD – the boy that got an exclusive visit with the Lady of Perfection in a dream! The guy that’s tasked with being peace and prosperity back to the land once he rids it of that awful Warlord!”

Phoebe’s eyes widened, intrigued. “You don’t say?”

The blonde scoffed. “The Lady of Perfection? Oh, please – you actually believe that fairy tale?”

“It’s why Gerald and I left our towns,” explained Arnold. “I’m supposed to find the Messiah, and then we can take down the Warlord?”

“Have you ever SEEN the Warlord?” asked the blonde.

“No,” said Arnold.

“And you don’t want to!” chimed Gerald.

The blonde sighed dramatically. “He’s only this hulking mass of everything terrible with limitless powerful and a penchant for world domination. And you think YOU can defeat him? Heh – believe me when I say that you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“Maybe I am,” conceded Arnold. “But I have hope. If nothing else, maybe that’s all I need to succeed.”

“Well I think it’s a noble errand you’ve set out to complete,” said Phoebe.

“Thanks, babe,” replied Gerald, causing the bespectacled girl to blush.

“But it’s hard navigating this forest,” said Arnold. “I wish we had a map, then we’d be making some real progress.”

“I have a map,” said the blonde. “And I’ll let you use it.”

“Really?” said Phoebe, Gerald, and Arnold simultaneously.

“Yeah. Really,” replied the blonde. “On TWO conditions….”

“Okay…” said Arnold cautiously.

“ONE – You help me round up my horses. And TWO – you take us along with you?”

“Why’s a couple of firework salesmen want to go a grand epic adventure?” asked Gerald suspiciously.

“Because it might be fun,” said the girl matter-of-factly. “And it gives us something to do. Business has been slow.”

“Alright,” said Arnold. I’ll accept your terms. But you have to accept mine: tell me your name?”

“It’s Helga.”

“Alright, Helga – you’ve got yourself a deal,” Arnold extended his hand and Helga took it in a firm handshake.


	4. Chapter 4

“It looks like we’re lost,” said Gerald. The group of four had been walking for what seemed like hours in a densely packed area of the forest.

“We’re not lost,” countered Helga, leading the horses through the trees. “I’ve been following the map to a T.”

“Then why haven’t we reached the other side of the forest yet?” Gerald argued back.

“I’m afraid that I must concede, Helga,” said Phoebe, leading the other horse. “It does appear are navigation and progress has been quite stagnant.”

“I swear I’ve seen that stump at least five times already…”  commented Gerald.

“Look, I’m telling you that we’re not lost! I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, well maybe next time you actually learn how to read a map…” muttered Gerald.

“All right, wise guy – you think you’re so smart? YOU try leading us out of this forest!” Helga thrust the map at Gerald.

“Oh no – you said you knew what you were doing!” said Gerald, thrusting the map right back at her.

“Uh, guys?” said Arnold.

“I DO know what I’m doing! It’s just that…this is an old map. The landscape may have changed since it was made?”

“Guys?” repeated Arnold.

“Then why are you giving it to me? Just admit that you got us lost!”

There was a loud whistle; Gerald, Arnold and Helga turned to see that Phoebe was the source of the whistle in an attempt to silence the bickering.

“Thank you,” said Arnold. Phoebe smiled and nodded.

“Okay, look,” said Helga, turning to face Gerald. “I may have slightly veered off the beaten path…just a tad.”

“Mm-hmm,” was all Gerald said in response.

All of a sudden, the horses were ripped from Phoebe’s and Helga’s hands and lifted into the air by several vines.

“What the heck?!” exclaimed Helga.

“Run!” said Arnold. The group fled quickly from the area that was swiftly being swarmed by several living vines. They ran for several minutes until they bumped into  boy with a big nose and stringy hair.

“Are you alright?” asked Arnold, helping the boy to his feet.

“I think so – thanks,” said the boy, dusting himself. “What are you running from?”

“That!” yelled Helga, pointing to the vines that were aggressively fast approaching.

The boy shrieked. “Boy howdy! Quick follow me!” Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe, and Helga decided to follow the boy’s lead and copied his winding path through the forest until they reached a gnarly-looking stump in a clearing.

The boy lifted the stump, revealing a passageway underground. “Hurry, in here!” The group did as instructed and entered the passageway, and the boy closed the entrance with the stump just as the vines had proceeded to go through area.

For a hole in the ground, it was rather well-lit and lived-in. As the four travelers stopped to catch their breath, the boy sat on the ground and wiped his forehead.

“That was a close one,” he said.

“I’ll say,” replied Arnold. “Thanks for saving us. I’m Arnold, and this is Gerald, Helga, and Phoebe.”

“My name’s Sid. I’m a ranger.”

“A ranger?” Gerald perked up. “That means you can help us find a way out of this forest.

Sid hesitated. “Well…”

“What is there to deliberate over? You’re a ranger – it’s your job to lead people out of places! Is it money? We’ll pay you – Phoebes?” Helga snapped her fingers and Phoebe revealed a rather hefty sized bag of gold coins. Helga took the bag and threw it at Sid. “There. Now get us the heck out of these woods.”

Sid weighed the bag in his hand, then pocketed it. “Okay…”

Sid led them through to the other end of the underground tunnel, and pushed aside a log so they could get back onto the surface. They followed Sid through the forest as he led the way.

“Finally,” exclaimed Helga. “It will be so nice to get out of here. If I see another tree again, it’ll be too soon.”

“We’re not out of the woods yet,” cautioned Phoebe.

“Cute. Keep the punny retorts to a minimum, okay Phoebes? Phoebes?” But when Helga turned around she was startled to see that her friend had vanished, and she screamed in surprise.

“What is it?” said Sid, who turned around just in time to see Gerald yanked upward into the trees by the waist. “Aww, crud…”

“What’s happening?!” yelled a hysterical Helga.

“She found us…” said Sid, staring upwards into the canopy.

“Who’s she?” pressed Arnold.

“The Child of Nature,” explained Sid. “She’s the spirit that rules this area of the forest. It’s because of her that I’ve been stuck in here for so long.”

“Wait – she won’t let you leave? You’ve been stuck here?”

“Two years, to be exact?”

“What?!” said Helga, enraged. “You mean I paid you a hefty sum, and you don’t even know how to get out of here?!”

Sid chuckled sheepishly and shrugged. Suddenly, three large vines each grabbed Arnold, Helga, and Sid by the waist, and propelled them upward into the canopy. When they came back down, they were lowered but not released into a circular meadow area. Phoebe and Gerald were also there, and also still restrained by vines.

“Fine mess you’ve gotten us into!” said Gerald.

“I’m sorry, okay?!” said Sid.

“I was talking about her!” Gerald pointed an accusatory finger at Helga.

“Me?!”

“If you would’ve just followed the map exactly…”

“Oh shut up!” snapped Helga.

“Uh, guys?” said Arnold.

“If we ever get out of here, remind me to point out everything that you do wrong!”

“Guys?” Arnold repeated.

“That’s a big ‘if’,” retorted Gerald.

“Put a sock in it, Tall hair boy!”

“Okay, that’s it – enough!” said a girl’s voice that reverberated so loudly it shook the neighboring trees. Everyone went silent and a figure morphed and emerged from out of a nearby weeping willow. It was a girl with dark skin and blonde hair in several spider-like braids. “Honestly, do you humans ever get along?”

Sid pointed a finger. “I-it’s her! It’s the Child of Nature!”

“You’re the Child of Nature?” asked Arnold. “You’re the reason we can’t escape these woods? And what did you do with our horse?”

“The horses are fine,” reassured the Child of Nature. “I just wanted to get them away from the likes of you! So typical of humans to think you can just lord over everything and do whatever you please. You cut down my trees and show absolutely no respect for the creatures that live here. Like this beetle – “ she extended her hand so that all could see the red and black spotted beetle she was holding. “You think this little guy deserves a chance without having humans stepping all over him.”

“But we’re not like that at all!” said Arnold. “We’re good humans! In fact, we’re on a quest by the Lady of Perfection to rid the lands of the bad humans that want to damage your forest.”

The beetle flew off the Child of Nature’s hand and she regarded Arnold carefully. “Did you say the Lady of Perfection?”

“You know her?” asked Sid.

“Of course I do,” said the Child of Nature. “She’s quite powerful, even moreso than me. If she sent you on a quest, then it must be a very special mission. Alright, I’ll let you go.”

The vines loosened around the waists of the five and they slid back to the ground below. The Child of Nature approached Arnold. “If there’s anyway at all that I can help, please let me know.”

“Actually, we were wondering where we might be able to find the Messiah?” offered Arnold.

The Child of Nature thought for a moment. “Hmm…you’d obviously want someone very powerful. There’s someone like that beyond the forest, near Wellington Downs?”

“You’re not talking about the Princess, are you?” asked Helga.

The forest spirit nodded her head. “Yes, that sounds about right. Go see her,”

“That’s awfully close to the Beeper King’s territory…” said Gerald uneasily.

“No worries – I can show you a path that will get  you to the Princess while bypassing the King entirely,” said the Child of Nature.”

“Thank you, Child of Nature!” exclaimed Arnold.

She giggled. “Just call me Nadine – Child of Nature sound so formal.”

“Nadine, huh?” said Sid. “That’s a pretty name…it suits you.”

Nadine blushed in response.

“Well, I guess we’d better get going,” said Arnold. “Sid, you wanna join us?”

“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” replied Sid “I had a mission of my own to find the spirit of the forest, and now that I’ve found her, I’d like to get better acquainted.

“Good luck on your journey!” said Nadine.

“Yeah, and uh….good luck having Grass Girl for a girlfriend,” quipped Helga.

Sid and Nadine waved as the group departed through a path magically opened amongst the trees.

 

Later that evening, when they finally reached the outskirts of the forest, the group set up camp and retired for the night. Arnold and Gerald went to sleep early, but Phoebe and Helga sat around the fire and chatted.

“You have to tell him,” said Phoebe.

Helga shook her head. “There’s so many that go on these quests thinking that they’re the ones that are going to make the difference.”

“But what if he’s the one? You owe it to yourself to let him help you.”

“It’s too late for that,” argued Helga. “The only one I can rely on is myself; I am the only help that I need.”

As they spoke, Gerald awoke briefly, but before he could register the conversation, their voices became hushed and the last thing he remembered was the spray of a blue dust before falling back to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Arnold, Helga, Phoebe and Gerald arrived at the drawbridge of a massive kingdom.

“Who goes there?” yelled the knight sitting up atop the wall; he had a think Southern accent.

“Lemme handle this,” whispered Gerald to the group. He then turned to address the soldier. “G’day, my fine sir. We are just a quartet of weary travelers, wishing to grace this fine kingdom with our patronage – selling our wares, and waxing poetic of our exploits.”

The knight scratched his head. “I dunno what none of those fancy words mean, but I reckon I’ll let ya in anyhows.”

The drawbridge came down. Gerald looked at Phoebe and gave a little wiggle of his eyebrows, causing her to giggle. Helga just sighed and Arnold shook his head.

As they approached the castle, they received several stares and murmurs from the onlookers. Phoebe lowered her head and Helga avoided eye contact.

“Now listen up,” whispered Helga. “Wellington Downs might look like high society, but it’s a regular autocracy. Their princess is a spoiled brat that will throw you in her dungeons just for looking at her funny, so watch what you say.”

“For a lowly firework salesman, you’re certainly well-versed in your regional politics,” Gerald said suspiciously.

.Helga shot him a dirty look. “What so I can’t try to better myself? Check your privilege, plebe.”

The eventually reached the entrance and were granted an audience with the princess herself. They stood side-by-side in her royal court, and the trumpets blared.

A person decked out in frilly garb and red coke-bottle glasses cleared his throat. “Presenting, Her Excellency, Princess Rhonda Lloyd of Wellington Downs!”

A young girl appeared in the court, her short black hair adorned with a large, pink pointed hat with silk trim. She was wearing a long pink flowing garb the same colour as the hat. The clothing looked comfortable enough to be mistaken as pajamas; in fact, the princess’ throne was fashioned more like a chaise than a traditional throne, and she lounged on it without regarding her guests.

Arnold took a step forward. “Your Majesty, I—“

“Kneel.”

Arnold paused. “Huh?”

“I said, ‘kneel’. You’re in front of royalty, after all”

“Oh. Sorry,” Arnold kneeled, and Phoebe and Gerald followed suit. “As I was saying—“

“Wait a minute,” Rhonda put her hand up to silence Arnold, then pointed an accusatory finger at Helga.

“Why isn’t she kneeling?”

Helga scoffed. “Yeah. In your dreams, Princess!”

There was an audible gasp from the rest of the court’s audience. Rhonda sat up in surprise. “What did you say?”

“I said, there’s no way I’m prostrating myself in front a pompous, overbearing drama queen!”

Rhonda narrowed her eyes. “Don’t I know you?”

Helga suddenly became very flustered. “O-of course not! Hey Phoebe – tell her that her hat looks stupid?”

Phoebe blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“Y-yeah, she’s got a stupid hat – almost as stupid as tall-hair boy’s hair!”

“Oh no, you are not wrapping me into your little game!”

As Gerald and Helga went at it again, Arnold tried in vain to retain the peace. “Guys? Guys…?”

“Enough!” yelled and enraged Princess Rhonda. “How dare you come to my home and insult the throne! You will pay dearly for those remarks. Guards! Lock them in the dungeon!”

“But we didn’t do anything!” cried Arnold as the guards took him away. “Don’t you want to know why we’re here?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” said Rhonda, matter-of-factly.


	6. Chapter 6

“Nice going, Helga,” muttered Gerald. The four of them were thrust into a dungeon cell in the basement of the kingdom at the command of Princess Rhonda.

“Put a sock in it, bucko,” was Helga’s reply.

“What do we do now?” asked Phoebe, who was sitting in the corner.

Arnold stood up and slammed his fist in the palm of his hand. “Now we think of a plan to get out of here.”

Helga reclined on the bars of their cell. “Hate to break it to you, football-head, but we’re currently each serving a life sentence in Casa de Wellington. It will take nothing short of a miracle for us to get out.”

Suddenly, the ground began to shake, causing Arnold to topple to the ground and onto Helga. Helga pushed him aside and looked to the ceiling above. “What the heck was that?”

“An earthquake?” surmised Gerald.

Phoebe shook her head. “Negative. The seismic signature was not conducive to an earthquake.”

“Then…what HAPPENED up there?” repeated Arnold.

“Hellllp! Put me down, you big oaf! Somebody, anybody….HELLLLLLP!!!!!”

The four of them ran to the window of their cell just in time to see a giant lumbering away from the castle, with the hapless Princess Rhonda clutched in his hand. Her screams could be hear even as the giant disappeared behind the hills.

“Welp, I guess that’s it for her,” quipped Helga. Phoebe, Gerald and Arnold gave her a dirty look. “What? If we’re lucky, maybe her successor will grant us pardons! And speak of the devil…”

There was the sound a lock jiggling and a door being unhinged. A tall girl in a coat of armor approached the cell. She immediately gasped and bowed when she caught sight of Helga.

Helga shooed her off. “N-now now, enough of that…” she said, laughing nervously.

“Forgive me,” said the tall girl, getting back on her feet.

“Helga, why did she just bow to you?” asked Gerald suspiciously.

“Because…because it’s not everyday someone is in the presence of someone who’s sold as many fireworks as Phoebe as I. I’m pretty famous in these parts – I just don’t lie to brag. Right, Phoebe?”

Arnold and Gerald turned to look at Phoebe, who just shrugged.

“Excuse me,” said the girl. “Which one of you are the one called Arnold?”

Arnold raised his hand. “I am. Tell me – what happened upstairs?”

“A most heinous act of royal burglary; our precious queen has been stolen by the Madam-Fortress-Mommy Giant.”

“Come again?” asked Gerald.

“It’s his name. We don’t know his actual one, so we just call it by what it yells.”

“It’s a giant that yells Madam Fortress Mommy?” said Arnold dubiously.

The girl nodded, then gasped. “How rude of me; we haven’t been properly introduced. I am Patricia of the Strong Arms, Head of the Royal Guard for Princess Rhonda.”

“Well, a fine job you’ve done so far, Patty” said Helga drily.

“Yes, well that’s precisely why I came down here,” she turned to Arnold. “I’ve heard a rumour that you’re on a peacekeeping mission and were sent by the Lady of Perfection to find the Messiah.”

“That’s right,” said Arnold.

Patty smiled. “I knew it. Her Majesty Princess Rhonda may not believe it, but I am very much a follower of the Lady of Perfection, and I trust that if she brought you here, it was for good reason.”

“What do you mean?”

Patty unlocked the cell door and held it wide open. “I believe you were brought here to vanquish the giant once and for all and save our beloved Princess. I’ll grant you freedom in exchange for your service, and I’m sure once Princess Rhonda is back home, she’ll pardon you for your troubles.”

“W-wait a minute,” said Gerald. “You want us to slay a GIANT. No offense, but that’s a little outside of the realm of my expertise.”

“Actually, you wouldn’t be necessary,” Patty explained. “Arnold is the one with the blessing from the lady. He should be able to handle it alone.”

“Who? ME?” asked Arnold incredulously.

“What?!” Helga butted in. “You can’t be serious! You can’t expect him to go all by himself? As the land’s top firework entrepreneur, I insist that you let me go with him as his escort.”

“But Helga—“ Phoebe said, worried.

“Besides, if the football-head fails and winds up a greasy little smear on the giant’s cave walls, I figure you’ll need someone alive to come back and tell the tale.”

“Good point,” said Patty. “Then it’s settled. You and Arnold will follow the trail left by the Madam-Fortress-Mommy giant. If you leave now, you should reach his lair just before dusk.”

“And what about us?” asked Gerald hopefully. But when Arnold and Helga exited the cell, Patty quickly shut the door and locked it again. “Hey!”

“Hey! What gives?!” asked Helga indignantly.

“Sorry,” said Patty. “I know youre trying to help us, but you’re still technically our prisoners. But I promise you’ll all be set free when the job is done.”

Helga rolled up her sleeves and looked at Arnold. “Well, what are we standing around for then? Let’s get a move-on, football-head!”


	7. Chapter 7

“I order you to release me and return me to my cancel this instant!” commanded Princess Rhonda.

The giant had set her down on a rock several feet above the ground, jutting through the vast space of the cave. As the giant sat down, Princess Rhonda continued her tirade.

“Did you hear what I said? Well? Answer me now you beast!”

“I have a name, you know, said the giant, resting his head on his fist.

“Well, what is it?”

“It’s Harold!” answered the giant proudly. “And I know your name, too. You’re Princess Rhonda Wellington Lloyd – ruler of Wellington Downs and prettiest princess I ever met!”

“Oh….well,” Rhonda preened herself. “That’s obvious. But why am I here? You’re not going to eat me, are you?”

Harold waved her off. “Nah. I don’t eat humans. I just wanted to talk to you.”

Rhonda was taken aback. “Oh.” She brought a hand to her chest and looked down at her lap for a moment. “Ok…” she cleared her throat. “So. How was your day?”

Harold let out an exasperated groan and lied on his back. “Oh man, lemme tell you….”

* * *

 

Arnold and Helga had travelled through the valleys and were now ascending the rocky terrain leading up to the giant’s lair.

At some point they took a break and rested in a lightly forested area. There was a tiny creek where Arnold went to get some water, and when he returned he caught Helga leaning against a tree reciting poetry.

Oh lo the Unhappy Fortunate

Red of hair but pure of heart

Thought rain clouds threaten his spirit

They’ll never tear his hope apart.

“That’s beautiful,” said Arnold. Helga gasped turned around to face Arnold, hiding the feathered quill that she used to write behind her back. “Why did you stop?”

Helga looked away and laughed bitterly. “You know…this is actually what I wanted to do with my life.”

“You mean…instead of selling fireworks?”

“Uh…yeah,” said Helga rolling her eyes. “But my father never approved.”

“You and your father don’t see eye to eye?”

Helga sighed and sat on a nearby log; Arnold sat next to her.

“He’s the reason I left home to strike it on my own. He intended to marry me off to some brute.”

“Oh Helga…that’s terrible,” said Arnold sympathetically.

“Don’t be, He said it was the only way I could be useful to him. He was probably right….”

“Tell me about the rest of your family.”

Helga stood up and started to walk. “Not much to say. My mother was a powerful sorceress. Had me and my sister. Left me behind with my father only days after my birth. I guess it was because I didn’t have any special powers.”

Arnold followed her. “Come on, that can’t be it.”

“Well, why else would she?!” Helga spat. She stopped and turned the large white feathered quill over in her hand. “Anyway, this is the only keepsake I have from her. The day she left me behind, my father found me crying in my crib while a strange bird cackled at him.”

Arnold stopped behind her. “It cackled at him?”

Helga nodded somberly. “Not only that – it spoke to him. A warning of sorts….or maybe it was a curse. ‘How tragic it must be to lose your precious wife. Now raise the spawn of your sins and conduct your wretched life’. Then it flew off, leaving this feather behind. And me. The ‘spawn of sin’.”

Arnold put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re no spawn of anything. You’re an amazing, talented person. How else would you have gotten this far? It’s just a shame your father couldn’t see it.”

Helga turned to loo at Arnold. “Do you really think that?”

Arnold made a heart-sign with his hands in front of his chest. “With all of my heart.”

Helga smiled warmly at him, then suddenly became very sober. “Arnold….there’s something I should tell you….”

“Shh! Wait, do you hear that?” Arnold placed a hand to Helga’s mouth and the two listened as the sound of a girl voice echoed through the air. “That’s Princess Rhonda. It sounds like she’s in trouble – let’s go!”

Not wasting any more time, the two scaled the rest of the rocky terrain until they reached the mouth of the giant’s lair. Helga stood with her back flat on one side of the entrance, and Arnold did the same on the opposite side.

“Well, I guess this is it…” whispered Arnold.

“You’re not just going to run in there, are you?” hissed Helga.

Arnold shrugged. Helga slapped her forehead with her hand. “Alright. If that’s your master plan, then I guess I’m going in with you.”

“You don’t have to do that, Helga…”

“Please, and let you hog all the glory?” she gripped the side of the cave, and smirked. “If you really are the Peacekeeper, now’s the time to prove it.”

“Alright then. We go in at the count of three. 1….2…3…!” Helga and Arnold simultaneously ran into the lair, but stopped short when they caught the sight of the giant Harold and Princess Rhonda  yuk-ing it up together.

“And then I carried the dragon’s egg around for 6 weeks,” said Harold. “I had named it Courtney and given it some clothes that I made…but then one day I forgot where I kept her and when I sat down I accidentally smashed her.”

“Oh dear!” said Rhonda, placing a sympathetic hand on the massive giant. “You must’ve been heartbroken!”

“Oh, I was, for a little while. But on the bright side I was able to salvage part of the egg and make a pretty yummy omelet.”

Rhonda broke out laughing. “Oh, Harold! You truly are droll!”

Rhonda and Harold continued to laugh as Helga and Arnold looked at each other in confusion.

* * *

 

Not too long after that, Harold brought Rhonda back to Wellington kingdom, and staved off her knights that were practically quaking in their boots at the knight’s return. As promised, Phoebe and Gerald were set free, and the group was allowed to continue onward on their quest.

On the day of their departure, Princess Rhonda, Harold, Patty and the rest of Strong Arms saw them off at the palace gates.

“You really must leave so soon?” Rhonda asked sadly.

“Yes, we’ve still got to complete our mission,” said Arnold.

“Very well. And I do apologize for being so hasty with locking you all in the dungeon. I realize that I’m quick to judge people without actually getting to know them. Harold the gentle giant has taught me the error of my ways.”

Harold blushed and kicked at a couple of trees, toppling them over. “Awww, geez…..”

Patty approached the group, eyeing Helga a little longer than the rest of them before turning her attention to Arnold. “Peacekeeper: I believe I may have a lead for you regarding the Messiah.”

“You do?” said Arnold.

“Someone who matches her description was spotted near Gerald Field. But be forewarned: at the moment there are two warring factions occupying the field. Don’t assume that either one will come to you aid.”

“Ah, we’ll be fine,” said Gerald. “We’ve gotten this far. If we can hand a giant, a couple armies should be a piece of cake.”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” said Phoebe.

“Yeah, thank you!” said Arnold.

“Godspeed, Shortman,” said Princess Rhonda, whipping out a handkerchief and waving it dramatically as princesses are want to do. “Mayhap we meet again!”

As the group turned to leave on their new horses, Patty grabbed onto Helga’s steed.

“Mi’lady,” she said in hushed tones so only Helga could here. “What are you doing with him? Isn’t it foretold—“

“Haven’t you heard? We’re entitled to write our own destinies now,” quipped Helga. “You should really try it sometime.” Patty let go of the horse and Helga rejoined her travelling companions as they trekked toward their next destination: Gerald Field.


	8. Chapter 8

The four friends arrived in the vast expanse of Gerald Field.

“Well, we’re here,” declared Gerald.  “At my namesake!”

“Give it a rest, Gerald-o,” said Helga.

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Arnold pointed to a group of girls huddled around a series of tents. When they got closer they realized that all of the girls were wearing the same uniform of kilts and beret.”

“Hey there,” said Arnold to one of the girls.

“Good ‘morrow to yeh!” replied the girl. “Yeh four are a brave lot to come here!”

“What do you mean?” asked Phoebe.

“Us Campfire Lasses have been protecting our turf against the rrruffian across the way! They are led by the Tyrant of Gerald Field!”

“The tyrant?” asked Gerald.

The Campfire Lass nodded. “Aye! He nay but an underling of the wretched warlock Wolfgang. He thinks he could horn in on our territory, but he’s got another thing coming!”

“Wolfgang?” Concerned, Helga peered out into the horizon; there, she could see another army of young men, all decked out in armour with red banners dancing in the wind.

“Did you need any help?” asked Arnold.

“A-actually, Arnold,” said a nervous Helga. “Maybe we shouldn’t get involved. I mean, who are we to impose on their little scuffle?”

“What are you talking about? It’s our duty to help!”

“It’s our duty to find your Messiah, football-head!” countered Helga.

As the two argued, Gerald and Phoebe noticed that the two sides were positioning themselves for an assault.

“Uh, you guys…” said Gerald.

But neither Helga nor Arnold were listening. It wasn’t until the Campfire Lass they were speaking to picked up a bagpipe did they notice that something was about to go down.

“It’s time, Laddies!” yelled the Campfire Lass. “For our land, our lot, and our chocolate turtles! Charrrge!”

The whole party of Campfire Lasses charged toward the army of the Tyrant, who in turn was charging toward them. The group could only watch in horror.

“Arnold, you gotta do something!” said Gerald.

“I…I…” said Arnold, at a loss for words.

But just before the two sides could converge, a bright sphere of light appeared in between them and expanded like a bomb blast. Arnold, Helga, Phoebe, and Gerald ducked before the shockwaves could reach them, effectively saving their lives. When they had the courage to look up, they realized that both the Campfire Lasses and the Tyrant’s army were nowhere to be seen.

“They’re….they’re all gone…”Phoebe said sadly.

“I don’t’ believe it…!” exclaimed Helga.

“Arnold, what do you think happened?” asked Gerald. “Arnold?”

But Arnold wasn’t listening; he was already on his feet and walking towards the sphere of light, which was shrinking down and becoming smaller and smaller until it became a tall as a person. Then the orb went from opaque to translucent to transparent and eventually disappeared, revealing a young girl with fiery red hair in braids, and wearing a deep green gown.

“Hey Arnold! Wait up!” Gerald ran to his friend’s side and suddenly found himself also face-to-face with the mysterious girl.

“Brave travellers from afar, fear not, for your Messiah has arrived.” The young girl brushed her hand on the cheeks of both Arnold and Gerald and both became immensely rapt in her presence.

Helga folded her arms and snorted. “THAT’S the Messiah? Give me a break!” Phoebe said nothing, merely observing how the scene was playing out.

“Brave Peacekeeper, your journey has come to a close. Follow me, and I shall reward you for your exploits. Come.” The redheaded girl turned and walked away, without ever acknowledging Helga or Phoebe.

Indignant, Helga began to chase after her. “Hey! What are we, chopped liver?! We helped too! Don’t ignore me! Arnold! Tell her we’re a part of your team!”

But Arnold and Gerald simply followed behind the redhead like a couple of obedient sheep. The girl glanced over her shoulder briefly, and Helga was suddenly propelled to the ground by an unknown force. When she finally sat back up, the trio was gone, replaced by a glowing white orb that rapidly escaped into the sky and sailing toward a mountain range several miles into the horizon.

Phoebe ran to Helga’s side to help her to her feet. Thought she wasn’t injured, inside she felt truly hurt.

“Arnold….we’re a team….”


	9. Chapter 9

That evening, Phoebe and Hela sat morosely around a campfire, with Helga sitting across form Phoebe while the fire roared.

For the longest time they sat in silence. Phoebe stoked the fire while Helga gripped her knees and stared into the flame.

At last Phoebe sat down and looked earnestly at Helga. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to give up on him?”

“He abandoned us, Phoebe,” Helga said bitterly, still looking at the fire. “He’s the Peacekeeper and he has a mission. And it doesn’t involve us.”

“…but it could,” Phoebe added meekly.

“What do you want me to say?!” Helga said angrily, standing up to challenge her friend. “He’s found his Messiah! He’s going to save the world, and we should be so lucky to have been a part of it for that brief moment.”

She grabbed the stick from Phoebe’s hand and stoked the flame herself as Phoebe continue to stare at him.

“But you love him….don’t you?”

Helga paused mid-stoke to take in what Phoebe had said, then she stood up and cracked the stick in half over her knee.

“Let’s go, Pheoebes. Messiah or no Messiah – we should be there for him.”

Phoebe smiled, then saluted. “Aye aye, captain.”

Helga and Phoebe followed the trajectory of the sparkling white orb to find the whereabouts of the Messiah, and were surprised to find themselves at the foot of a foreboding cave.

Phoebe sniffed. “This does not seem appropriate for the domicile of a Messiah.”

“Yeah…” Helga commented absently. “I wonder where the boys are….”

They descended stealthily down into the cave until they reached a cage. Inside, they found Gerald crouched in the corner of the cage, shivering.”

“Gerald!” cried Phoebe, running to the cage. Only then was Gerald aware of their presence, and immediately crawled over to the opposite side of the cage.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here!” he said grasping onto Phoebe’s hands.

“Gerald, what happened? Why are you trapped in here? Where’s Arnold and the Messiah?”

Gerald shook his head vehemently. “We were tricked….it happened so fast…that girl….she’s not the Messiah?”

“Where’s Arnold?” Helga repeated.

“Shh!! Keep your voice down….” Cautioned Gerald, pointing beyond his cage to the shadow  of a figure behind the corner. Helga and Phoebe crept over to the corner and discovered that the red-headed girl was using her powers to suspend Arnold in a green miasma of energy, which was kept hovering several feet off the ground.

“Hey!” yelled Helga, jumping out from her hiding place. “Put him down!”

The girl slowly turned around, and grinned as though she was regarding a friend. “Oh. I’m surprised you actually came. Though I’m ever so certain that you’ve sealed your doom….”

As she said this, the red-headed girl morphed into a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon.

“Oh crap,” Helga said as she leapt to dodge a wall of flames that the dragon had exhaled. She ran over to Gerald in the cage. “You didn’t tell me she could transform in to a dragon!”

“Well! I didn’t know!” responded Gerald, shrugging. Another wall of flames came her way and Helga jumped out of the way to dodge the attack. Gerald was left defenseless, but just when he thought his goose was cooked, Phoebe stood in the path of the  flames. She pulled out a vial of some green liquid and chucked it at the flames, causing them to freeze instantly and shatter onto the ground.

Gerald looked on in amazement. “You’re an ALCHEMIST?”

Phoebe turned and shrugged at Gerald, smiling sheepishly. “There was never really an apt opportunity to bring it up….”

“Hey Phoebe! I could use a little help right about now…!” Helga was being backed into a corner by the ferocious green-scaled dragon.

“Excuse me for a mement…” Phoebe ran towards the dragon and, pulling out a very large Erlenmeyer flask of blue liquid from some unknown compartment in her clothes, threw it wth all her might towards Helga.

“The pen is mightier than the sword…give me strength,” Helga pulled out her large white feathered quill pen and spun it around in her hands. The feather grew larger and larger until it became a full-sized sword. As the flask came to her, Helga slashed it with her sword, imbuing it with powers. She then thrust it with all of her might into the chest of the dragon, causing it immediately to turn into ice. The dragon then dropped to the ground and toppled over, shattering into a million pieces.

In that instant, the green force field around Arnold’s body suddenly vanished he fell to the floor. Helga came rushing to his aid.

“Are you alright?” she asked, cradling his head as he regained consciousness.

Arnold’s eyes fluttered open to Helga’s concerned visage. “Helga?”

Helga nodded and brought him close for an embrace. “I’m so glad you’re OK. If I hadn’t come…”

Still a bit disoriented, Arnold slowly patted Helga on the back.

Phoebe used her alchemy to quickly undo the locks on the cage, and the two of them joined Helga and Arnold at the spot where the dragon was slayed.

“Hey man!” exclaimed Gerald. “How are ya feeling?”

Arnold got to his feet slowly, with the aid of Helga. “Good, I guess….the last thing I remember was seeing this red-headed girl and then…nothing.”

Helga folded her arms. “Well, I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that she was definitely NOT the Messiah.”

Arnold turned to look at Helga. “You saved my life.”

Helga tried to nonchalantly wave him off, but he grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently in both of his. “No. Really. Thank you so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

Helga blushed and looked down. “I was having so fun being a part of your party for truth and justice. I didn’t want it to end.”

“And it doesn’t have to,” chimed in Gerald. “If this Messiah was a phony, then I guess our mission is still incomplete!”

“So what do you say?” said Arnold. “Want to be a part of this adventure a little longer?”

For the first time, Helga let her guard down. Her features softened, and she was about to reply with an emphatic “YES!” when the light of several torches came into view.

The group of four approached the exit of the cave and found themselves face to face with a troop of soldiers on horses. Some of the soldiers were holding a large black banner with the silhouette of an electronic white box in its centre.

Gerald gulped.

Phoebe gasped. “It can’t be,”

“Oh Criminy…” Helga muttered under he breath.

“Helga, what’s going on?” asked a confused Arnold. “Do you know these men?”

“Sure do…” Helga said, with a tinge of melancholy to her voice. “They belong to the Beeper King….my father.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

One of the soldiers, a lanky boy with blonde hair, approached the group of hero. “Sorry, your Majesty. I’ve been ordered to take you back to the Beeper Palace.”

“Your Majesty?!” said Gerald, incredulously.

“You’re the daughter of the Beeper King?” asked Arnold in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The blonde soldier pushed Arnold back before Helga could respond. “She doesn’t have to do answer to you, peasant! She’s betrothed to Wolfgang, the future ruler of these lands!”

“Give it a rest, Edmund,” said Helga in exasperation.

But then Arnold set his sights on Helga “How could lie to me? So you were never a firework salesman?”

At that Edmund and the other soldiers laugh raucously.

“Come on, Arnold,” Gerald said “We don’t have to put up with this.”

He tried to guide Arnold away but they were blocked by the weapons held by the other soldiers.

“Where do you think you’re going?” laughed Edmund. “Wolfgang would love to add to his wedding reception!”

Arnold, Helga, Gerald and Phoebe sat in silence as the stagecoach they were forcibly stuffed into travelled their route to the Beeper Kingdom.

At last it was Gerald that broke the silence.  “I can’t believe it – you’re going to marry that monster Wolfgang?”

“It’s not like she had a choice in the matter, Gerald!” Phoebe spoke up. “She was coerced by King Big Bob!”

“Oh, so this is all for peace then?”

“Of course not,” said Helga, breaking her silence, but looking out the carriage window, refusing to meet the eyes of her traveling guests. “Big Bob doesn’t profit from peace. So long as there’s a war he stays rich and powerful. What better way to secure that legacy than to marry off his youngest daughter to the one keeping his coffers full.”

Phoebe put a comforting hand on Helga’s knee. “But you didn’t, Helga. You said you wouldn’t be ruled and dictated to by your tyrant of a father, so and I fled to make our own destiny!”

“Yeah, and look where it got us,” spat Helga. “We’re right back where we started.” She glanced over briefly at Arnold, the only one who maintained his silence. He was also looking out the window and avoiding eye contact.

Eventually the grey clouds and smog alerted the group to their arrival at the Beeper Kingdom. They were escorted by Edmund down the corridors of the castle.

As they walked, Helga tried making conversation with Arnold. “I don’t want this,” she said softly.

“Well, what do you want?” said Arnold finally.

Helga looked at Arnold earnestly, and for the first time, she could see the anguish painted on her face. “I want you to help me…”

Suddenly, Helga was forcibly separated from the others. “What are you doing?!”

“These three kidnappers will stay in the dungeon until the king decides what to do with them!” explained Edmund.

“But they didn’t kidnap me! I ran away! Take me to Big Bob – I wanna give him a peace of my mind!”

“With pleasure, Princess,” said Edmund. He nodded at the other soldiers, and they took Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald away.

Helga stormed her way into the throne room but was surprised to find it empty, with Big Bob nowhere to be seen. The throne itself was draped over by some oversized sheet of fabric. She walked into the centre of the room and looked around, warily.

“Well, well, well – we meet again, Princess,”

Helga turned to her left to see Wolfgang emerging from one of the side chambers. He walked over to the throne, never taking his eyes off of her, giving her a smug grin.

“Wolfgang? What is the meaning of this? Where’s my father, King Big Bob?”

“The King? He and I had a heart-to-heart, and decided that I would be better suited to taking over the duties of ruling his kingdom. Of course, he did require a nudge in the right direction…”

As he spoke, he pulled the fabric off of the throne with a flourishing gesture, revealing a petrified King Bob underneath, completely turned to stone.

Helga gasped in horror, but then her shock was quickly replaced by rage. “You monster! How could you do such a thing! There’s no way I’d ever marry you after this!”

Wolfgang chuckled to himself and shook his head. “Poor, naïve Helga – I’m the Warlock, baby. I could have any woman in the land that I so choose. I never intended to take your hand in marriage…” he approached Helga and before she could run away, he grabbed her arm forcefully, raising it slightly and squeezing it until she winced in pain. “No…what I want from you is much, much more valuable.

He moved in close so that his nose and Helga’s were mere inches apart. “I want your power.”

When he finally let her go, Helga crossed her arms and gave Wolfgang the nastiest look she could muster.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, pal. In case you’ve forgotten, it’s my perfect sister that has all the power in the family.”

“Ah, and that’s where you’re wrong,” Wolfgang raised his glove hand, palm upright, and Helga’s body was suddenly lifted several inches off the ground. She struggled, but her entire body was paralyzed under Wolfgang’s control. He walked around her casually. “You see, Olga does have great power, but her ability is in what she can SHOW. I need a power that can DO. I need to bind it and control it, and eventually snuff it out. It’s the only way I can maintain my iron grip on the lands.”

“What…are you…talking about?” Helga strained to say under the enchantment.

“Silly girl…you haven’t figured it out yet?” he grabbed on to Helga’s chin and pulled it down so their eyes met again, and she could see the full intent of malice behind them.

“You have the power I need…..because you are the Messiah.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe once again sat in a dungeon cell, this time sans their traveling compatriot Helga; a guard slept soundly in a chair nearby.

Phoebe stood up and began to pace back and forth. “This isn’t normal. Something is wrong. I know King Bob – he can be incorrigible at times, but he’d never let me leave Helga’s side.”

“What are you saying?| asked Gerald.

“I’m saying Helga’s in danger, and it’s up to us to save her!”

Arnold scoffed, kicking his feet back and forth. “Why bother? What good is a Peacekeeper to a warmonger and her spoiled daughter?”

In two steps Phoebe approached Arnold and slapped him squarely in the face. Gerald’s jaw dropped in surprise.

Stunned, Arnold held his sore cheek in his hand and looked up at Phoebe and shock and bewilderment.

But Phoebe was unapologetic. “Listen to me, Arnold,” she began. “Do you know why Helga had ran away? She knew that the war and fighting would never end if she took Wolfgang’s hand in marriage. That’s why she set out to carve her own destiny, one that didn’t involve anything on which her father had built his legacy. You see…she was finding her own way to bring peace to this land. And little did she know she’d succeed when she found you. You have to save her. If not for me, or Helga, or King Bob, then for every other living soul who craves peace.”

Arnold lowered his head and considered her words. He then stood up alongside her and said, “You’re right – we’ve got to save her.”

Gerald smiled and stood up as well. “All right! But, uh – how are we supposed to get out of here?”

Phoebe smiled coyly. “You forget that you share a cell with the land’s most renowned alchemists. Observe.”

She pulled a small vial from her pockets and emptied its contents on the lock of their cell, dissolving it instantly. As they  exited the cell, the guard started to rouse, and that’s when she took a small pouch of white powder from her pocket and blew it in his face, causing the guard to fall back asleep.

When they made their way upstairs they started to run down the vast corridors of the palace.

“So where should we find Helga?” asked Arnold.

“Not sure,” replied Phoebe. ”We might have to go to the upper floors…”

“Hey! What are you three doing out of you cell?”

A group of guards appeared and began to approach the trio.

“Gerald! Got anymore spoken word poems to share?” whispered Phoebe.

“Huh?” Gerald looked at Phoebe like she was crazy. “What? NOW?”

“Anything!” whispered Phoebe back, harshly. “Give me something!”

“Okay…” Gerald cleared his throat and approached the guards. “Have you fine men heard the tale of the Reluctant Rogue?”

The guards looked at each other in confusion as Gerald spun his tome:

_Off the outer regions of the land_

_Down by the illustrious sea_

_There lives a man that would rather forget his past_

_He wills his wrongdoings to be a foregone memory_

_The Reluctant Rogue, though he be fearful in stature_

_Regrets his crimes as a repentant soul_

_And prays that his trials under the watchful eye of Neptune_

_Will absolve his sins, and make him whole_

As Gerald recited his tale, Phoebe poured a white shimmering powder into her hands as she muttered an incantation. She then took the handful of powder and released it into the air. Suddenly, the figure of large, bulky teenage pirate appeared before the group. Angrily, he pulled out a sword and chased down the guards, who retreated in fear.

Gerald pointed and gasped. “Hey th-that was….!”

“The Reluctant Rogue? Yes and no,” corrected Phoebe. “Merely a simple illusion; but they’ll be on the other side of the kingdom before they realize the truth.”

“C’mon, I think I see a stairwell!” called Arnold, and the trio quickly ascended to the upper floors.

They ran down the corridors, and eventually they found their target: Helga was being elevated off the ground by the magic of Wolfgang the Warlock. She was trapped in a sphere of purple energy, but recognized the group immediately.

“Arnold!” she cried, her voice muffled within the spherical prison.

Wolfgang turned and gave a smug smile to the three. “Ah, so you managed the break out. No matter. You’re too late. Once I finish this spell, the transfer will be complete, and I will have the full power of The Messiah at my disposal.”

“The Messiah?” said Gerald, surprised.

“You mean, all this time…Helga….” said Phoebe.

“Helga was the Messiah,” Arnold said, in disbelief.

“Man you guys catch on slow,” quipped Wolfgang, unimpressed.

At last the spell was complete. Wolfgang’s body had taken on the purple glow for himself, while Helga’s body fell lifeless to the cold castle floor.

“Yes! At last!” laughed Wolfgang, looking at his glowing hands with wicked mirth. “I’ll see you losers later.” And with that, he teleported out of the room.

“Helga!” Arnold, Gerald and Phoebe ran to Helga’s side. Helga was pale and unresponsive; it looked as though the life had literally been sucked out of her.

“Helga, please open your eyes,” pleaded Phoebe. When that didn’t work, she lowered her head and cried softly.

The two boys did the same, silently honouring Helga. But then Phoebe spoke up again. “You’re the Peacekeeper, right? That means you were meant to assist The Messiah.”

“She’s right,” said Gerald. “It can’t be over. Your role in this is still incomplete.”

Arnold looked up at his two friends. “You mean…you think I could…”

“It’s worth a shot….” Phoebe said softly.

Arnold sighed heavily. He turned to look at the unconscious blonde. “Helga…” he began. “I don’t know if you can hear me…but I want you to know that I’m sorry. I get it now. It’s not just my role to bring peace to the land…it’s both of us. I can’t do it alone…please Helga…let’s save it together…”

Arnold embraced Helga and kissed her on the forehead. Suddenly Helga’s body began to glow. Phoebe and Gerald backed away from the two of them. Arnold was surprised to feel Helga’s hand caressing his face.

“Arnold….” she said, then leaned in to kiss Arnold on the lips. “Thank you.”

She helped the stunned Arnold to his feet then walked to the centre of the room.

“Where are you going?” he managed to choke out.

Helga smiled. “Hey, football-head. You’ve done your part in this fight. Now it’s my turn.” The glow of Helga’s body intensified until she too disappeared from the room.

Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe looked about frantically. “Where did she go?”

Wolfgang stood at the balcony on the uppermost floor of the castle, overlooking the rest of the kingdom. He clenched his gloved hand into a tight fist in victory. “Finally I can rule these lands unopposed. Nothing can stand in my way.”

“Wanna bet?”

Wolfgang turned around and was surprised to find Helga standing behind him, her body still glowing white.

“Impossible!” he said. “I stole your power!”

Helga pulled out her feathered quill pen. “The pen is mightier than the sword…” she said to herself, and the pen grew into a sword as before, only this time the blade was completely awash in light.

Wolfgang approached Helga and outstretched his hand, projecting a beam of dark purple energy. Helga countered by deflecting the energy right back at him, a direct hit.

Wolfgang screamed out in pain and knelt to the ground. “Aaaugh!!! Curse you!!!” he yelled, before exploding in a cloud of purple smoke.

The glow around Helga’s body dissipated and she became lightheaded. As she stumbled, Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald arrived just in time to break her fall.

“Helga? Helga, can you hear me?” said Arnold as he lightly shook her, afraid that she was taken from for real this time.

Helga’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled as Arnold was the first face that she saw. “Hey Arnold…we did it.”


	12. Chapter 12 - Epilogue

When Wolfgang was defeated, the spell that was cast on King Big Bob was immediately broken, and his stone form melted away back to flesh and blood.

Later on that day, a celebration was held in honour of the brave heroes that had rescued the Beeper Kingdom from the clutches of the tyrannical Warlock.

Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe stood facing the throne in the royal court, as Helga stood beside her father Big Bob at the throne. A line of sentrymen appeared and played a regal tune to address their presence.

A lone jester, who stood not too far from the king and princess, continued to play an extended solo on a kazoo he somehow acquired. Annoyed, Helga silenced the jester with a single backhanded fist to the face.

"The Beeper Kingdom thanks you for your bravery and wisdom, Alfred," said the Beeper King. "You really saved my hide back there."

"Uh...it's Arnold, actually...." Corrected the football-headed hero.

"Thanks to you, the Warlock is no longer free to roam these lands, and my daughter Olga has now returned to me."

"It's Helga, DAD," whispered Helga harshly, jutting him in the side with her elbow.

Big Bob threw his hands up in exasperation. "For crying out loud, I've been encased in stone for the better part of a month, can you cut me some slack? Jeez Lousie...!" he exclaimed. "Anywho, as a token of my gratitude, yadda-yadda – look you know the drill. Just don't spend it all in one place, alright?"

 

A group of servants appeared in the royal court carrying large amounts of gold which they casually dropped on the floor in front of the heroes. Gerald's eyes nearly bugged out at the sight of the gold and became giddy with excitement. Arnold smiled, but then his mood was tempered when she saw the disappointed look on Helga's face.

\---

Later that night, in the private quarters reserved for the heroes, Gerald invited Phoebe to look at the moon on his balcony, and that's when he decided to really lay on the charm.

"You know, a smart girl like you shouldn't waste her talents sticking around here. You could join us, and travel the world. Personally, I think you and I would make a pretty good team.

Phoebe giggled then smiled wryly at Gerald. "Oh really?"

"Sure!" responded Gerald. "With your gift of alchemy, and my gift of song, there's not telling where it could take us. I even got a name for our traveling troupe: Alchemy in Motion!"

 

Phoebe laughed again and moved in closer to Gerald. "Well, don't you just think of everything?" And under the soft moonlight, the two finally kissed.

\---

 

Arnold, however, was actually absent from his room. He sought out the living quarters of Helga and visited her late in the night. When Helga opened the door to receive him, she seemed less than impressed.

"Well, this is rather unbecoming, football-head," quipped Helga drily. "You do know, as heir to the throne, I can authorize to have your head lopped off for being here?"

Arnold said nothing, and entered Helga's room without waiting for a invitation. He paced back and forth on her plush fur rug until he paused long enough to look her dead in the eyes. "Come with us."

Helga was nonplussed. "What?"

"Come on, Helga – you said it yourself. This place isn't for you. You feel like you don't belong here? Well, I don't feel like I belong...ANYWHERE. You were the Messiah, and I was the Peacekeeper. Now that our roles are done, what's the next step? What do we do now?"

Flustered, Helga folded her arms and looked away. "I dunno. I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"Come with us," repeated Arnold. "What have you got to lose?"

 

Arnold outstretched his hand to Helga. Helga looked at Arnold's hand, then back at Arnold, then smiled as she took his hand into her own.

\---

 

"Helga!" roared Big Bob from his throne the following day. "Helga!! Where is that blasted girl?"

The jester was the only other occupant of the throne room. He approached King Big Bob, bowed, then handed him a letter.

"Uh....here...." wheezed the jester.

Big Bob snatched the letter from the jester and hastily read it. "What?!" he started. "She's left again?! Oh, for cripes sake--!"

"Relax, Daddy," came an ethereal voice. "Helga's in a much better place now...."

Big Bob's jaw dropped as he slowly rose from his throne. "Olga....is that you?"

Indeed, a beautiful blonde woman suddenly appeared in the courtroom and made her way to the throne. "Hello Papa – did you miss me?"

"Olga, you've come home!" Big Bob wrapped the Lady of Perfection tightly in an embrace. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"My role in all this is done, Daddy," said Olga softly, patting her father's back. "But now, your other daughter's journey is just beginning. You must let her go and experience the world. Her fate is to carve a path that not even I can foresee."

"Well, ok..." muttered Big Bob. "If you say so....so, does this mean there's a chance your mother might return as well?"

"Of course, silly Daddy!" chimed Olga sweetly. "You just have to complete a few trials first?"

"Trials?" said Big Bob, confused.

Olga snapped her fingers and a large white scroll appeared that unraveled and took up the entire space of the throne room, even knocking the wheezing jester off his feet.

 

"Good luck, Daddy," said the Lady of Perfection in her saccharine-sweet voice.

\---

 

Arnold, Helga, Gerald, and Phoebe were all on horses, overlooking the Beeper Kingdom as it was almost gone from the horizon.

Arnold looked at Helga. "Where to now?"

Helga grinned. "We go where the story takes us. Now it's our turn to spin the tale."

They both kissed while on horseback and the four heroes descended down the hill, into new territory, creating a brand new adventure.

 

THE END

\---

 

"And so that's the story," concluded Gerald. "What did you think?"

"Oh, I loved it!" said Timberly, hopping up and down on the seat of her bed. "Tell me another one!"

"Sure, why not?" smiled Gerald as he rustled her head. "Okay, settle in, because now I'm going to tell you a story of greatest superhero that ever lived. It's called, "The Legend of Pop Daddy".

 **THE END**  (For real, this time!)

 


End file.
